Guantanamo Bay, Cuba
Back in orange jumpsuit country for my fourth visit. Supposed to be for nine days for legal hearings inside the massively secure courtroom, concerning the upcoming (actually it could be four years away) trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, "I did it" architect of the 9/11 terrorist attacks, and four others with names and multiple aliases too difficult to spell, all of them staying at the pleasure of the US Government at the Guantanamo detention centre. Have Castro or his brother ever been asked what they think about having a terrorist detainee camp at the tip end of their island? Anyway, the only real drama during this trip was the threat of Tropical Storm/Hurricane Isaac washing over the island and threatening the assembled media, all sleeping in tents. After 48 hours of wondering whether we were all wasting our time and our Foreign Desks' money, the military judge puts his finger in the air, sniffs, mouths hurricane, and we get the order: "Everybody out!" It's to be my first official evacuation. I guess sleeping in a tent in hurricane-force winds would have been a bit hairy. Yes it's strictly tented accommodation for the hacks. Apart from incoming hurricanes, the only other danger sleeping in the tents at GTMO comes from banana rats and mosquitoes which is why the US military turns up the air conditioning in the tent to Arctic conditions. Totally freezing air blasting into your face the whole night. The banana rats bless them don't like the cold, so they stay outside the tent in the warm. But inside the tent, the nine-man beds are quivering with trembling reporters trying to wrap themselves in sweaters, anoraks and bobbly hats to have a fighting chance of a few hours' kip. Personally, I'd rather be a banana rat.
So after just two days in GTMO, writing pieces about things that were not going to happen - ie the legal hearings and debates about torture and the judge's pronouncements on the US government's secrecy classifications - we were told to pack up our belongings and head for the airport. The ferry going across to the US Naval Station where the airport is located was packed with journalists, lawyers, human rights observers, families of 9/11 victims, military types and a general in a fancy suit - the chief military prosecutor, a cool dude if ever I saw one. Bye bye GTMO, until the next time. If and when Isaac turns up, presumably the 168 detainees will be told to lie on the floor (shackled for their safety) until it blows over. But although the detention camps I have visited, Camp 5 and Camp 6, don't look that strong, apparently they are Hurricane Four-proof. Well, we'll see.
Out of the blue, we got some drama after all. We all piled onto the chartered aircraft, run by Ryan International Airways - no not Ryanair as we first thought - and the media were settled into the back rows of the plane. The judge and general were up front of course. Then a steward came to see us and pronounced the following: "Okay, can you listen please. We need you all to move further up, grab what seats you can find because 34 prisoners are coming on board and they are going to sit at the back where you are." WHAT? 34 prisoners? 34 GTMO detainees? What what what!!! What an amazing story and we are going to be on the spot to record it. Everyone whipped out their Blackberrys, not to warn Foreign Desks because BlackBerrys don't get a signal at GTMO, but to be ready to take photos of detainees being brought down the aisle in handcuffs, hopefully dressed in orange! Wow wow, the expectation was immense. But wait a minute, 34 "prisoners" leaving Guantanamo and hitching a lift on a passenger plane, stuffed with journalists, 9/11 victims' families, a judge and a general?! Surely this can't be true. No one in Washington would ever contemplate such madness, would they? Please, let them be mad, we were all saying. The Fox News lady was beside herself with excitement. I began to smell a rat - not a banana rat. I walked up the aisle, spoke to a military type who knew nothing about it, and then grabbed the senior stewardess. Excuse me, are you really telling me that 34 detainees are about to get on the plane? I don't mind giving up my seat for them, but I am wondering if this is true. Well, she said, I've just come off the phone and apparently it has been cancelled. So, I said, no detainees after all. Er, no. So, I said, can I go back to my seat? I guess, she said. End of story boo hoo. I walked down the aisle and said loudly, it's all a joke. The judge did not look amused. The general just looked cool, such a dude.
Someone had to have an explanation. The steward who had announced the scoop of the century was beginning to look a bit sheepish. A military spokesman gathered us together and said there had been a slight misconception. I SHOULD SAY. Apparently, someone had said that there were two federal marshals on board, and federal marshals would only be on board if they had prisoners to escort. By a series of Chinese whispers, the message came down to our friendly steward - poor chap - that the last four rows of seats needed to be vacated pronto because of the expected arrival of 34 prisoners. A stewardess even said, oh don't worry, they'll all be handcuffed, WE weren't worried. We had our notebooks and pens poised. The anti-climax was huge. The steward started worrying about his job and we all felt thoroughly let down. The rather intense Fox News lady said: "I was that close to it, I could smell it." Yeah well, scoops don't come too often and anyway, lady, there are 22 other reporters on this plane, so it wasn't going to be a Fox special.
I did begin to wonder whether Ryan International Airways really was an offshoot of the blessed Irish Ryanair. It all seemed like a wonderful Irish joke.
