First a file from Guantanamo Bay, my third visit to the Caribbean detention centre, three eighteen-hour a day days to record the pre-trial hearing of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and four others, all accused of helping the orchestrate the 9/11 attacks. Seeing them walk into the courtroom - with one notable exception who was brought in strapped to a "restraining chair" - made you think, these are the human beings accused of masterminding the most horrific terrorist attack in history. For most of the time, they sat in their chairs saying and doing nothing, but during the recess time they smiled and chatted and passed verbal messages down the row of chairs as if they didn't have a care in the world. How is it possible that people who allegedly believe in a supreme being can conjure up such hatred for others. They plotted to kill 2,976 people and brought down two symbolic skyscrapers - well allegedly, I supposed one should say. Anyway I was there to record all the colour and drama for The Times which for those of you who are sensible enough to read the best newspaper in the world, will be already familiar, although as the hearing itself was on a Saturday, it meant my 1,500 words on what happened appeared Online, not in the paper. Such a shame, especially as I was the only British newspaper reporter who not only got a seat on the Pentagon plane to Guantanamo Bay - 60 out of more than 200 applicants - but then had my name drawn out of the hat for the 10 places inside the courtroom. It was a day to remember.
Only one bit of the hearing was blotted out when the security officer in charge of such things thought one of the defense counsel said something which was deemed to be classified. Because there's a 40-second delay for the audio feed to reach those of us sitting in the public gallery behind a glass panel at the back of the court, we didn't hear The Great Secret, just a splurge of white noise. But after due thought by the Pentagon and co, it was decided that the blotted-out bit could be released after all. One of the defending lawyers said his client, the shifty one brought in in the restraining chair, couldn't hear what was going on in court because he didn't want to wear the headphones supplied by the court. This was because headphones had been used "by the big pants boys at the CIA" to torture him during interrogation. The words in quotes were the actual words of the lawyer. I wrote a blog for The Times about it and said that "the big pants boys at the Pentagon" had decided that these words were not classified. HO HO HO! So goodbye Guantanamo, until the next time. I'm now a veteran of the place. But unlike the inmates - 169 are still there - at least I get to leave. I can't see them ever being released, but if Obama gets reelected - definitely not guaranteed - he's going to have to turn his mind to Guantanamo. What to do with it, what to do with the detainees etc. I don't suppose Mitt Romney will give it a second thought, if he wins the White House. Just keep them, charged or uncharged.
Talking of politics, went to see the delightful Magic Exotic Marigold Hotel the other day, but first had to witness a strange incident which can only happen in the US of A. One of the ushers, an overweight shy boy, went to the front of the screen and started to speak. There were three people at the back of the front section and a huge number higher up behind them, none of whom could hear anything. The Fat Boy raised his voice a touch after being told to speak up, and then explained why he was happy for everyone to be there and thanked us that they had chosen this cinema to watch this film and that rival cinemas didn't have this film and that they chose rubbish films to show their customers, and he then said he wanted us all to get on. A clever spark shouted: "You should run for Congress". Everyone laughed into their popcorn. Fat Boy retreated.
Took a suit which I had bought for nothing in a charity shop - ok ok, but times are hard - to a repair shop to have it relined and the trousers taken out - well, come on, this is America, I've been on a burger,chips and everything with sugar diet! Every dry cleaner and repair shop in Washington is run by Chinese. I asked the lady how much it would cost to take the trousers out an inch to make room for more burgers. The following conversation took place:
"..awty dollars."
"Forty dollars?!"
"..awty dollars."
"Forty dollars!!!"
"...awty dollars."
"Fourteen dollars?"
"..wenty dollars."
"Twenty dollars?"
"..wenty dollars."
"So, twenty dollars?"
"..wenty dollars."
I have no idea whether I misheard in the first place or whether we had engaged in a wonderful bargaining ritual. If the latter I did so in all innocence. But ..wenty dollars it was!
The race for the White House is now truly tedious. With all the potential rivals out of the way, Romney, the man whose wife has two Cadillacs and whose home has a car elevator, is not far behind Obama who tells us how he has improved America's national security by sending in The Boys to do his dirty work, but then gets his sidekicks to leak all the operational details to the Los Angeles Times, New York Post, Washington Post and Miami Women's Journal etc, and then pretend he's aghast when the papers run amazing drama stories. I always remember Michael Portillo when he was Conservative Defence Secretary under Thatcher boasting at the annual Tory Party conference that he would send for the SAS if he wanted anything sorted. It didn't do his political standing any good and the SAS was thoroughly miffed at being exploited for political reasons. Obama should watch out. Anyway the US presidential campaign still has the rest of May, June, July, August, September, October and November to run, so it's going to be a long yawn, unless there is drama overseas. I'm off to the windy city - Chicago - for the Nato summit about Afghanistan where I'm sure Obama will declare that US troops are being pulled out "responsibly" after the thrashing of the Taleban. Mr Pootin, reinstated at the Kremlin, will be laughing. His lot - 150,000 Russian troops - left Afghanistan after thrashing everyone and no one, a total victorious defeat. Oooh, I'm getting over-cynical. I blame the burger diet.
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